On-the-job training: Hair

So one of the first things I did after visiting with an oncologist a couple of weeks ago is get a haircut. Parting with part of my hair seemed like it'd make the transition to _bald_ (which the doc has guaranteed) easier, especially for my daughter who fears my baldness more than anything in the world. Sad, but true. So I marched the whole family down to our local Super Cuts. Yes, that's right. My husband & daughter have no problem with Super Cuts...they're easy. But it's never been acceptable for ME to get a haircut there! My hair is complicated. My hair is important. My hair is ME for goodness sake. But I just went ahead and got my hair cut by an unknown hair cutter right there on the spot. Perhaps it was my way of rebelling against this cancer. Sort of giving it the finger if you will. That makes no sense, but I digress. Anyway, I just said, "go short and try to avoid a bob." I must say, it was liberating...having no fear of a bad haircut?! If only I lived like this always! I felt so silly for paying outrageous sums of money for haircuts in the past. So, one of the first things I've learned from my new job is...don't live in fear of a bad haircut. I mean, experts (really good hair experts) should be payed for their talent. But remember, that it's only HAIR. And it grows back. Eventually. And that $$ I didn't spend on my hair? I'm saving up for a wig.  :)

Thank God for sick days

Well, the sweaty exercise regime is still in the "planning" phase, ha! But I haven't had time to be lazy either. There was a flurry of holiday-prep activity and doc appointments before I headed in for surgery 3 days ago. I managed a ton of laundry along with Christmas decor (with my sweet family's help of course.) I _think_ Santa is ready for my 7-year-old and all the little traditions we have, like the Advent calendar and the nativity boxes, are good to go! I enjoyed so much love and attention in the days prior to my surgery when I was feeling like a whiny toddler indulging in a temper tantrum. I didn't WANT to have surgery again (#9 in the past seven years by the way.) But my Abba Daddy just held on to me and by Sunday evening, I was full of peace and suddenly felt a surge of strength that would take me through my hospital experience on Tuesday. It was really amazing. 
When I had my mastectomies/reconstruct back in 2006, my hospital experience was a nightmare. From insensitive nurses in the recovery room to a shortage of pain meds to vomiting from an anesthesia hangover. I was really dreading Tuesday even though I was at a different hospital. I shared this with my surgeon too, and anyone else who'd listen (sorry to you all who had to listen!) But it was the complete opposite experience this time and exactly what I needed to get me past that paranoia I'd been carrying around. I wasn't even the slightest bit nauseated from the anesthesia and the pain meds have been very effective. Phew! When a lovely hospital chaplain came by later on Tues. asking if I'd like prayer, I asked if we could give praise instead! He stood there with me and my whole family holding hands and thanking God and it was fantastic.
The best part has been being able to come home and show my little girl that staying in the hospital for surgery is okay. That I came home and am alright. Now maybe she won't be afraid if she ever has to have surgery too.
So that part of my job is done. This recovery part is going pretty well so far too. I have the most amazing mom who totally understands since she's been through this same surgery herself 14 years ago. I have the most loving dad, sisters, husband, daughter, friends and even the snuggliest tail-wagging companion to help me while I manage the pain and the ICKY drain on my left side for the next couple of weeks. Pathology on the lymph nodes and tissue that was removed on Tuesday should be back by Friday or Monday. Then we'll see what else this job has in store. While I wait, I'm enjoying gifts and meals and drawing GREAT strength from that love. I'll get back to work, and the docs, in a couple of weeks. I am welcoming this opportunity to take some "sick days" and am just thankful for the rest!
"For no one is cast off by the Lord forever.  Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone." Lamentations 3: 31-33